nuns, Kampala, and educating the youth of Uganda

Hello my American and some French/Japanese friends...

So I last left you at the fourth of July. I hope you all celebrated in style... here, a whole bunch of ND kids went to the Holy Cross house, where 4 guys are currently living for 16 months and teaching primary school. They treated us to a fabulous time: they had painted an American flag on the wall of their house (partly celebratory, partly because they hate their landlord), created homemade fireworks using hundreds of match heads bought at a local Chinese explosives factory, and even brought in beef from the capital, since foot and mouth disease was running rampantin my district. So I had a hamburger! There were 5 kids from Indiana at the party, so I spent most of the night shouting along to John Mellencamp songs and reminscing about the beauty of the Hoosier state. AND AMERICA. The next day I returned to the real Ugandan world.

So I've had some more exciting encounters. Like the time Hajat dragged me to this convent across the street at 9pm and just left me there... there were about 30 Ugandan girls around my age running around, eating, and just being girls. But she just left me there. I didn't know who these people were or anything. I eventually found out they all want to be nuns? They were really nice. They were visiting from a district in the northwest... and they wanted to take me home with them. They said the boys would marry me so fast, and give me 80,000-100,000 shillings (please note: that is like less than $100. And apparently what I'm worth). They also kept saying randomly awesome things like "LISA! (long pause) Did you know... you resemble my mother?" Later I found out they are actually from a tribe that does not wear clothes. That does not change the friendship I formed with them but it was SO RANDOM. Also, their tribe believes all the cattle in the world belong to them... and they steal random cattle and shoot people who threaten the cows. And when you want to marry one of their women, the man must fight the women. Like viciously and
physically. If he loses, he cannot marry her. Consequently, these women are some of the tallest and strongest in Uganda. All of these things... just made these seemingly simple, nice nun girls SO COOL. So that was random.

Then I went to Kampala to stay with Hajat's youngest daughter, Joan. IT WAS A DIFFERENT WORLD. Actually it kind of freaked me out. She rolled up in a Hummer, took me to her house, and I immediately felt underdressed, because everyone had cute neon colored matching outfits, and I was covered in village mud and hadn't washed my feet in about 3 weeks. She spent a lot of the weekend watching E! and Extreme Home Makeover on her satellite TV. I just couldn't figure out how she was a product of the family I am currently living with...the modest one, with chickens and a toilet in the back. It was bizarre. They took me out though. I karaoked Toto's Africa. In Africa. Ha! I realize that just about every tourist has probably had that same brilliant idea, but on that night, I was the only white person there, and I brought down the house.

I've been doing a lot of work lately, and finished my first grant proposal. That's not a good story so I'll just move on. I've gotten to visit more of the communities WORI works with, which is always fun. We went to a school and I was forced to teach them about sex. If you've never said words like "vagina" and "anal sex" in front of 200 15-16 year olds, you have not lived. I didn't think I'd be one to get embarrassed... but yeah. It was especially great because it was a Catholic school and we'd been told to teach abstinence only. So the kids kept fishing for ways to get us to say condoms. Ahhh children! And I rowed out to the island community too. We had to row there. Like on a canoe. It took an hour. Everyone thought it was hilarious that I knew how to paddle a boat? The island was actually kind of depressing though. Since it is so hard to get to, I guess the teachers never even show up, and there is no secondary school. So after primary school, girls basically get married, and boys become fishermen. It was crazy. I ate fish there and got sick. That sucked. But it happens.

I just got back from our FSD retreat at Sipi Falls... they're these gorgeous waterfalls up in the mountains. We went on a hike, and I just kept having flashes of Predator, Jurassic Park, and Congo (the movie)... and then being like ahhhh I'm on an African safari! Except it was just a hike. The only wild animals I see are chickens, pigs, cattle, and random goats. Uganda is one large free range farm. I spent a lot of the retreat being amused by Joel, our Ugandan program coordinator who looks like a big scary man but speaks like a little boy. I wish I had a little dwarf that could just follow him around and stenograph the things he said. Kind of like that old lady on Chapelle's show, maybe. He always ends up saying things that are perfectly normal in Ugandan english but entirely creepy to Americans, but he's harmless, so it's hilarious. Like, when he found out he was assigned on the bed next to me, he said, "Oh, Lisa. I will watch you sleep all through the night!" All I do is laugh in this country.

And home is still just as crazy, with my crazy, rambling-ish brother currently on the kick that one of my adopted brothers is the devil and he does not trust his "plastic smile", Margreta the one who calls me "maaja" occasionally just opening the shutters of my window to deliver a lengthy morning greeting, and Hajat has tried to elevate my cooking skills to skinning chickens with her in the mornings. I watch the best show every made, The Gardener's Daughter -- an English dubbed Mexican soap opera -- every Monday and Tuesday with the fam, I read War and Peace, and I keep company with the 2 pet lizards who have been chilling in my room. I'm excited because over the next few weeks, I'm planning to go rafting on the Nile, attend a session on Ugandan witchcraft, be on Ugandan radio for a panel discussion of domestic violence, and see Wyclef Jean in Kampala! Woo! I still have a lot of work to do too. I can't believe I'm over halfway done... in one month, I'll be home! Ahh!

Peace, love, and Ugandan handshakes,

Lisa!